So, you’ve been in college for a minute now. And it’s alright, but not quite going how you hoped it would.
Maybe that organization you were looking forward to being a part of isn’t all it was cracked up to be.
Maybe your classes have been harder than you thought and college is a lot more about actual school than you realized. :/
Maybe you thought you would “find your people” by now and you haven’t.
Maybe you miss your family or hometown more than you thought you would. Like a lot more.
Whatever boat you find yourself in, know this: you are not alone.
It is perfectly normal to feel a sense of disappointment when it comes to ~the college experience~.
Going into college, my expectations were HIGH. Blame social media or the way college is portrayed in the movies, but I was expecting to find my people, have super interesting college lectures, and just love every little part of this thing called ~college~.
Looking back, I can see that it was naive to think this way. But I also think it’s okay to be excited and hopeful about something, and then be a little disappointed when your expectations aren’t met.
I’m here to tell you- if you’ve made it past your first semester of college and you’re seriously wondering:
“Why haven’t I found my people yet?” “Did I choose the right school?" “Is this really what I want to do with my life?”
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I want to give you four things that might help you as you think about how college hasn’t gone as picture perfect as you hoped it would.
1. Honesty
It took me having some hard conversations on the phone with my mom and with friends and family back home over winter break to really get honest with myself and admit that I wasn’t having a great time in college.
It was hard for me because I’m generally a very positive person and try to look at the bright side, but I had some complaints.
I was facing a lot of disappointment. From little things like football games not being as fun as I had hoped, to larger things like miscommunications about my degree program, I was disappointed.
Opening up to others about this helped me name and process my emotions and realize that what I was feeling was perfectly normal- there wasn’t anything wrong with me.
Read: 3 Things God Taught me my Freshman Year of College
So I encourage you- TALK ABOUT IT!
You don’t have to become a negative nancy and complain about your college to every person you interact with, but you also don’t have to force a smile and act like everything’s great.
Get with some trusted friends and family and get honest.
2. Gratitude
Gratitude will always change the game. Putting things into perspective and realizing how many blessings you have may just change your outlook on this whole college thing.
Did you know that gratitude and anxiety cannot exist in the brain at the same time?
It’s true! Read this article on it- I was fascinated to learn this.
This is not to say you need to put on a smile, like I mentioned with being honest. You can be real about what hasn’t gone well and what you hope will get better, while ALSO being so grateful for all you have.
You go to college. Something less than half of American adults get to say they did. That alone is something to be grateful for.
Start to name the things you are thankful for and watch the Lord transform your mindset. Ask Him to transform the way you think about things!
For me, this looked like recognizing how blessed I was to have a family that I love and missed so much and being grateful for that.
I thanked God that He put people in my life back home that I cared deeply for and missed so much. I started praying for them and checking in on them.
I thanked God for calling me to the college He did and asked Him to remind me of the assignment He gave me.
And slowly but surely, my mindset improved and I was more content with where I was at.
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
3. Prayer
Prayer is simply a conversation with God. So tell Him what’s on your heart! The honesty, the gratitude, the disappointment– bring it all to Him.
Thank Him for all that He is already doing and ask Him to help you see that.
Ask Him to give you new desires and a changed mindset about what college can look like for you.
Ask for Him to put people in your life that you can share the gospel with, and to put people in your life that will encourage and challenge you in that.
Just talk to Him. 🙂 And listen. 🙂
4. Time
I remember getting so frustrated when opening up to people about how I really felt about college just to hear them say, “It takes time”.
I always wanted to ask, “How much time?! I’ve been there for months!”
I know it sounds frustrating and cliche, but it truly does take time to get adjusted, find a new rhythm, and settle into where God has you now.
I wrote this on my instagram at the end of my first semester of college as a reminder to myself and I want to remind you of it now:
“Seldom do we get to see the end result or finished product of what God is doing in our lives. But keep being faithful. The fruit of your obedience is well worth the wait.”
So don’t transfer quite yet. Don’t give up on friendships. Don’t lose hope. If you feel the Lord calling you in a different direction, that’s one thing. But if you know God has you where you are for a reason and your own doubts and insecurities are getting in the way, I’m here to tell you- KEEP. BEING. FAITHFUL.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 44:31
I went back second semester and things did get better. Not perfect, not like the movies, but better.
Read: Things that Helped Me When College Was Hard.
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So there you have it! Four things to remember when college is not what you hoped it would be. You’re not alone. Be honest, practice gratitude, pray, and give it some time.
My prayer is that this blog is real, practical, and encouraging, so I hope this post resonated with you in some way and reminds you that it’s okay to feel however you’re feeling! Follow the Simply Emma Laree instagram for more on this topic.